Anyone who has any experience with self-harm?

i've been self-harming for a year now, mainly cutting. but lately, i've been wanting to not cut. it seems unappealing and i don't even get the urge to do it. but i'm still feeling upset and out of it, usually when i feel like this i cut. but in my mind i just feel like not doing it, for some weird reason. i don't know what to do though, because i'm so out of it. i'm upset. and everything literally looks like a big dull gray haze. it's scaring me. but i don't want to cut. i don't know what to do to liven myself.